Recently I attended an event where investors sortof had speed-date-like rounds with new or expanding businesses. Since I’m thinking about new developments involving the luxury market and e-commerce, I thought I should at least introduce myself so I have a warm start while developing the business plan. Here’s what happened.

Person 1: this was a group that helps women entrepreneurs and now has started a fund. She was asking me questions like “do you know how to code?” And “how much money are you going to make”. I told her I didn’t have the numbers memorized, but ya sortof can code or get someone to do it. I didn’t follow up with her cause it was an unfriendly sorta vibe I got from her. Can I ask to speak to your supervisor please?

Person 2: this guy’s group was known for taking startups from working in their kitchens and grow them into profit machines. It sounded cool to me. We chatted and I showed him some promo materials. he said he knew a woman in fashion who is smart and speaks Cantonese, wrote her name on his card and offered to make an introduction. Ok thank you I said.

Person 3: was by far the coolest. Like he was talking to some suit guys and it was mafia-level-seriousness and then turns to me and looks at a photo of lenka wearing my dress. “I have her in my ipod.” He says. Then he writes a girls name on his card and says he will introduce us. Oh I see, I say.

Person 4: was like the Strom Thurmond of investors. He’s like growling @ me, “how much u want? You’re too small, we only invest bigger.” So I replied, “you want bigger, I’ll give you bigger.” He laughs and then he asks, “how do you know if what you’re offering is needed?” I was a little stumped. Doesn’t he know, “need,” and “fashion need” are like two competely different concepts? I think he lost me on that one.

So many thoughts swirling in my head: I can’t even tell you. To be continued…